So yesterday we had to take both boys to the hospital for outpatient surgery. One had to get tubes in his ears, the other had to have his nose cauterized so it would stop bleeding. Not sure how long that is going to last since he keeps sticking his damm fingers up there. Anyway, let me tell you that yesterday was a nightmare! Its bad enough that you have to take in one, but try a 3 yr old and an 11 month old in one trip!! I was upset to begin with that they both had to be put to sleep. But then we had to sit and wait for 2 hours!! WTF!! Tell me to be there at 8 and then dont start the procedures till after 10!! Here I am sitting back in the prep rooms with 2 kids who have not eaten or had anything to drink since the night before. The youngest is still on a bottle and wasnt allowed to eat anything after midnightt. Needless to say he was sooooooo not happy. The oldest was so bored and wanted to run up and down the halls and chase his brother.
Finally when it was time, the drs came to take the youngest first. I was worried that both boys would lose it and started screaming when they took them from me. But I was shocked that they allowed me to put on a gown and go back with each one to the operating room. They let me hold them while they put them to sleep. It made things so much easier on everyone. I didnt have to see my kids freak out when strangers took them, the boys were both calm since I was with them and the drs didnt have to deal with a screaming, kicking child. I was pleased after that!!
But yesterday was enough!! I don't need to go through that anytime soon!!! Note to kids--- please, please stay healthy and accident free so that we dont have to deal with the hospital anytime soon!! Whew, I was so stressed before I knew I could go back with them. i had to take 2 of my anxiety pills just to help calm me........didnt really help much.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
OFFICAL WORD- I AM CRAZY
Went to the doctor yesterday and I am now on anxiexty & depression meds. So its offical I am CRAZY!!! I always knew I was a little different, but the result of the dr putting me on meds just proved my point. I have serious anxiety issues, my nerves are just shot. By the end of the day I just want to cry from all the stress. I hate shopping or going anywhere there are crowds, Hate anything out of my daily routine. As for the depression, I have been battleing that off and on since I was 20. I blame that onset on a bad breakup from I guy I loved and dated for 4 yrs (and 5 yrs after that, on & off).
The dr asked me why I was depressed, I told him a stay home with 3 kids, never go out anywhere by myself for adult time. After having kids I am now an enormous size that I hate. Hmmm what else would you like to hear?? Really, I would like to know the secret of those mothers out there that work full time jobs, have no help at home with the kids, have a spotless home and still are skinny bitches!! I want some of the water they are drinking (or their meds)!! I just dont understand it. I don't leave home to go off to work, but I just dont have the energy to anything for myself. I soend my days cleaning and running errands and taking care of the children. I just don't have the energy to work out!! I hate the weight that I am at now, and my goal for September (my wedding), was to lose weight. I went out and bought all kids of workout dvds and wii games to get me motivated. But alas, they did not to the job.
I feel these skinny mamas are either blessed with extremely great genes, or are on some kind of drug. My question is, what is it?!?!? I want to try it!! I was never a small person before I had my children, but damm what I would give to be that again!! I lost most of it after my 1st son was born, and as soon as I did I got pregnant with spawn #2. After he was born, I dropped some of the weight. Then 3 months ago, the dr put me on an anitdeppressant which caused me to gain it all back.
Seriously I am the size of an 8 month pregnant lady!! I weigh what I did when I was 8 months pregnant with my 2nd child!! So with all the weight gain in the past few months, the dr took me off that med and now we are trying something else. So hopefully the weight will fall off as fast as I put it on(in my dreams, right). He asked me what was worse- taking the meds and feeling some relief from the depression or gaining the weight. I quickly answered that one with WEIGHT!!! I feel most of the reasoning behind the evil depression is my weight!!! I hate leaving the house to go anywhere because I am always surrounded by small people.
I have no idea where 'being bigger' comes into my life. I was a toothpick up until I hit puberty and then I got a little bigger. I wasnt huge in high school, about a size 12-14. I was happy with that. I have 6 sisters, all of which are skinny size 4's, give or take. I think a few of them are smaller than that!! My mother is even tiny. She has had 5 kids, and does not look like she has even had 1!!! I blame it on my father!! Now he is not big by no means, he is tall. I am 5'10", I recieved my height from him. Now my mother & stepfather are both short- which gives you my 5 short skinny ass sisters!!
I am ranting now.....see, told you.....crazy!! Here I am venting my own crazy ideas and personal life to strangers, when I should be doing my workout or out walking with the kids. I seriously need a fire lit under my ass, wait, not a fire, a huge ass blaze to be started!
As for the meds, I am all for them. A lot of our society says there is a problem with over medicating. I feel that is false. If we were over medicating, wouldn't there be a drop in crime rates. Most people that commit these horrible crimes are people who end up using the insanity plea!! Maybe if they were properly medicated they wouldn't have commited the crime in the first place!! So there!!! Crazy drugs are a good thing!!
The dr asked me why I was depressed, I told him a stay home with 3 kids, never go out anywhere by myself for adult time. After having kids I am now an enormous size that I hate. Hmmm what else would you like to hear?? Really, I would like to know the secret of those mothers out there that work full time jobs, have no help at home with the kids, have a spotless home and still are skinny bitches!! I want some of the water they are drinking (or their meds)!! I just dont understand it. I don't leave home to go off to work, but I just dont have the energy to anything for myself. I soend my days cleaning and running errands and taking care of the children. I just don't have the energy to work out!! I hate the weight that I am at now, and my goal for September (my wedding), was to lose weight. I went out and bought all kids of workout dvds and wii games to get me motivated. But alas, they did not to the job.
I feel these skinny mamas are either blessed with extremely great genes, or are on some kind of drug. My question is, what is it?!?!? I want to try it!! I was never a small person before I had my children, but damm what I would give to be that again!! I lost most of it after my 1st son was born, and as soon as I did I got pregnant with spawn #2. After he was born, I dropped some of the weight. Then 3 months ago, the dr put me on an anitdeppressant which caused me to gain it all back.
Seriously I am the size of an 8 month pregnant lady!! I weigh what I did when I was 8 months pregnant with my 2nd child!! So with all the weight gain in the past few months, the dr took me off that med and now we are trying something else. So hopefully the weight will fall off as fast as I put it on(in my dreams, right). He asked me what was worse- taking the meds and feeling some relief from the depression or gaining the weight. I quickly answered that one with WEIGHT!!! I feel most of the reasoning behind the evil depression is my weight!!! I hate leaving the house to go anywhere because I am always surrounded by small people.
I have no idea where 'being bigger' comes into my life. I was a toothpick up until I hit puberty and then I got a little bigger. I wasnt huge in high school, about a size 12-14. I was happy with that. I have 6 sisters, all of which are skinny size 4's, give or take. I think a few of them are smaller than that!! My mother is even tiny. She has had 5 kids, and does not look like she has even had 1!!! I blame it on my father!! Now he is not big by no means, he is tall. I am 5'10", I recieved my height from him. Now my mother & stepfather are both short- which gives you my 5 short skinny ass sisters!!
I am ranting now.....see, told you.....crazy!! Here I am venting my own crazy ideas and personal life to strangers, when I should be doing my workout or out walking with the kids. I seriously need a fire lit under my ass, wait, not a fire, a huge ass blaze to be started!
As for the meds, I am all for them. A lot of our society says there is a problem with over medicating. I feel that is false. If we were over medicating, wouldn't there be a drop in crime rates. Most people that commit these horrible crimes are people who end up using the insanity plea!! Maybe if they were properly medicated they wouldn't have commited the crime in the first place!! So there!!! Crazy drugs are a good thing!!
Demon child!!
So I just finished watching some show on the SyFy channel about people being posessed by demons. No more than ever I am convinced my child or spawn, is posessed!! One minute he is fine and talking normal, then the next he his making these awful annoying sounds or growling and flying around the house!! He throws things and screeches these horrible sounds that sound like a different language. He used to be so sweet and quiet, that is why I truely think he is now overcome by a demon. If anyone knows of a good exorcist, please send him my way!! Someone told me there is no terrible twos, its the terrible threes, but I am not so sure of that!!!
Friday, July 2, 2010
Getting older
My youngest is 11 months today!! Can't believe its been almost a year since the little bugger was born. Where did the time go? Plus next week I will be another yr older. Yuck! I'll be 28 and already have to dye my hair to cover up the grays!! I even have the early signs of crows feet. What the hell!! Seriously wondering if all of those anti-aging products actually work or if they are all a waste of money like everything else. And yes, I did jump on the band wagon and purchase a few!! What is it with women....when we were younger we couldn't wait to get older and now its like we just wish we could turn the clock back. Again my bi-polar theroy comes into play. Kids make us seem bi-polar, I swear!!! Its like this vicious cycle.
So its time to get myself dressed to go to the grocery store. Its sad that I actually put makeup on and all just to go get eggs and milk!! Most days are spent in my pjs or in sweatpants all day. So whenever I actually DO leave the house its like I am gong out somewhere on a date or something!!! Makeup, jewlery, hair did......you name it!! Oh my life is so exciting!!
So its time to get myself dressed to go to the grocery store. Its sad that I actually put makeup on and all just to go get eggs and milk!! Most days are spent in my pjs or in sweatpants all day. So whenever I actually DO leave the house its like I am gong out somewhere on a date or something!!! Makeup, jewlery, hair did......you name it!! Oh my life is so exciting!!
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